CHICKEN WING JESUS
COME GET SAUCED.
Free wings for the faithful at every Bills home game. Hammer Lot. Orchard Park, NY.
A PROPHECY
THE SAUCE IS COMING.
You’ve asked. You’ve begged. You’ve licked your fingers and whispered, “Where can I buy this?”
The recipe is sworn to secrecy. Even the Holy Gospel of Wings won’t say what’s in it.
It’s not for sale yet. But it is coming.
FREE WINGS. EVERY HOME GAME.
Every Bills home game, I fire up the fryers in the Hammer Lot in Orchard Park and feed the faithful.
For free. No tickets. No catch.
Just fresh wings, handed out by a man in a robe, while they last.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF WINGS
As handed down in the Holy Gospel of Wings.
I.
Thou shalt not waste. Wings are holy.
II.
Thou shalt double-dip only at thine own tailgate.
III.
Blue cheese. Not ranch. Amen.
IV.
Thou shalt not call them “Buffalo wings.” Thou art in Buffalo. They are wings.
V.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s last wing. Ask nicely.
VI.
Honor thy celery and thy carrots, even if thou eatest them not.
VII.
Thou shalt not eat a wing with a fork. Thou knowest what thou didst.
VIII.
Thou shalt not bear false witness about how good a wing is.
IX.
Thou shall remember the home game, and keep it sauced.
X.
Thou shalt throw away thy bones. The crown is already full.
SCENES FROM THE LOT
Fryers hot. Robes white. Fans fed.
BY THE NUMBERS
(Mostly jokes. Except the ranch thing.)
[10,000]
wings blessed this season
0
ranch packets permitted
1
crown of chicken bones
∞
napkins required
JOIN THE CONGREGATION
Follow @chickenwingjesus for game-day sermons, wing updates, and the first word when the sauce drops.